"I felt a nice, fresh breeze a moment ago. Where has it gone to?"
- Tennessee Williams, in 'The Glass Menagerie'

Monday, November 14, 2011

You... rock... flaws and all.

"Prove to yourself  that you can do it.  Prove that you were always who you thought you were, not who they said you had to be."                                 Rachel Snyder

Sometimes it seems like proving it to yourself isn't enough... because sometimes it seems like what you think is good enough just doesn't quite seem good enough to everyone around you.  But I have found that if I hold tight enough to the faith I have in myself, eventually everyone starts to come around.  Plus, it helps to find a little inspiration... a little inspiration goes a long way.

"Set your sights high, the higher the better.  Expect the most wonderful things to happen, not in the future but right now.  Realize that nothing is too good."                        Eileen Caddy

...and with a little inspiration, you really can rock the world around you.  I found inspiration over the past year, well, actually more like the last 6 months.  Not just in new friendships and a new, REAL relationship, but also in old relationships... with family.  I gained a new brother 3 months ago (I still can't believe it's been that long already!), and I have the most fantastic sister anyone could ask for.  My daddy... well... he's always been my best friend... but over the past 6 months, I have developed a loving, adult-like relationship... with my mother.

The most shocking revelation in that is that I have never really had a relationship like this with my mother.  It's not perfect by any means, but we actually have honest-to-goodness fun together.  We are able to cut-up and joke with each other like we never have before.  I actually share things with her (and if you know me, that is a HUGE step because I'm extremely prone to clamming up when it comes to sharing matters of the heart - or even simple matters of my everyday life - with my mother).  That alone has given me inspiration... but paired with the other gajillion things that have made my life just that much brighter?  It's made for a heck of a few months.  :)

"The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about, the more you have left when anything happens."                Ethel Barrymore

I have even become more interested in my school work.  That is a super huge feat for me, too.
I have been
in school
since graduating high school.
And now I have only 4 semesters left, and then I will officially become a teacher.

"Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third."           
                                                                                             Marge Percy

Something else I've learned:  love isn't just about you and another person.  When you love someone, you love all of them... flaws and all.  We were given life, a beautiful life, one in which we find someone wonderful to love and cherish and build another branch of life with.  You can't even begin to start doing that if you think that the person you love is just absolutely perfect and can do no wrong.  That is just setting yourself up for a let-down.  Mr. Wonderful has flaws.  I have flaws.  And yet somehow, our flaws counteract each other.

A good friend told me yesterday that what she's found throughout her marriage is that when he is weak, she is strong, and when she is weak, he is strong.  They are never weak at the same time... remember that thing we've always been taught?  "God will never give you more than you can handle" - well, I think that's the key to it.  It's not necessarily how much you can handle on your own but how much you can handle when you lean on the ones you love the most and the ones who love you the most.  After all, none of us can do any of it alone.

"Nothing is impossible to a willing heart."                         John Heywood

We all make mistakes.  I have made more than my share of them, but I have always believed in myself.  I have never given up trying to rectify my mistakes and make things right.  By never giving up, I have realized that there really is nothing that I can't do: 

Complete a (close to) 6 mile hike 3 times in one week, in the sweltering summer Alabama heat with a mild heart condition?  Why, of course I can! 

                            Pass the hardest math class I've ever taken with a grade of C or
                            higher?  No sweat.

             Pull myself (and my grades) out of a hole I long ago dug for myself?  Took a lot
             of sweating, but it's happening.

                                       Complete a 16 page Case Study for Educational Psychology
                                       AND make a 100?  Not a problem.  (okay, that's a lie, but I
                                       am still so very proud of myself - that sucker was HARD!)

My point is - I accomplished all of those things because I didn't just set my mind to them, but I "put my money where my mouth is."  I decided I was going to do all of those things... and I did 'em.  It didn't matter whether anyone thought I could or not.  I did it because I believed in myself.

"The hope of the world lies in what one demands, not of others, but of oneself."     
                                                                                            James Baldwin

...and right now, I am demanding happiness.
...and I'm getting it.
"You reep what you sew."  Remember?

I'm sewing happiness.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

"the sun, the moon, and all their light."

Tonight, this song has been stuck in my head:

particularly this part:

"I don't want the whole world,
the sun, the moon, and all their light.
I just want to be the only girl
you love all your life."

...that's it.

I do.
I just want to be the only girl you love...
all your life.

(or at least until we have little baby girls)