"I felt a nice, fresh breeze a moment ago. Where has it gone to?"
- Tennessee Williams, in 'The Glass Menagerie'

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

laughing at the devil..

A day of smiles is what I found for myself today, as I had a dream last night that was beyond what words can describe.  I let Mr. Wonderful know about the dream, and my heart literally began to glow after my final when I read these words:

@ 9:26 a.m.:
"this morning i drove to work worshipping and laughing at the devil.."

(have I mentioned how much I love that man?)

The Lord delivers peace and understanding at precisely the right time, and He most certainly has delivered it to Mr. Wonderful in his time of need - just as he delivered Mr. Wonderful to me at precisely the right time, for precisely the right reasons.

Thank you for answering my prayer(s), Lord - because it sure has been nice to hear the "smile" in his voice today and the laughter that I so love hearing on the other end of the phone.

I found myself thinking about how comforting and healing laughter can be while hearing that "piratey" laugh sneak through the phone tonight, and I couldn't help but think about how much of a medicine it truly is.  There is no true healing of a broken heart from the death of a loved one.  I learned that a few months ago with the death of my Peppy.

But laughter?

That's the good stuff.
That's the stuff that miracles and happiness and giggles and smiles and healing are all made out of.
That's the stuff that God gives us to make us remember how grand life is when it seems inevitably low, as if nothing will ever get back to "going right."

Sometimes, when you just can't find it in you to really smile - and I mean truly, truly smile from deep down within - sometimes that's when God gives you the very best laughter.

The good stuff.

And that's when we begin to realize that "surrendering" it all to Him?
Well, that lets the good stuff just keep on coming, the laughter, the medicine, the healing.

So, I leave you with a final thought:
When was the last time you surrendered it all and just laughed from deep down inside?  That healing might just save your life.


Monday, December 12, 2011

When it rains, it pours.

I'm no fool.
I knew from the beginning of this relationship with Mr. Wonderful that being 3,000 miles apart was going to be tough, but we both decided from the moment we realized this could be something special
(try beyond special... he's my soulmate)  :)
that if we could make it through the distance thing, we could make it through anything.

I know, I know... there's a lot of those statements that get thrown around in a relationship, sometimes just to make the other person feel better... but it was something that we really and truly meant - and still do.

But right now?

Right now, it's raining...
...it's POURING.

My sweet, wonderful man's grandfather passed away two days ago, and he has had a not-so-wonderful reaction to it all.  I mean, who can blame him?  It's his grandfather for crying out loud!

And now?
Now there's some issues with his dad (not life-threatening - we're hoping he'll be home soon),
and my sweet man just keeps getting rained POURED on.
If one thing has gone wrong for him, so has another.
(stupid Murphy)

And I'm here.
In Alabama.
3,000 miles away from him.
And words?  They seem to only go so far sometimes.



God, if you could do me a solid and kick Murphy's butt out of Mr. Wonderful's life for a while that would be awe-some...

Two months.
That's all we need.
(semi)Sanity for two months.
We know nothing's going to go completely perfectly.  It never does, but if he could catch a break right now, that would be flippin' awesome.  Seriously... just get us through these two months.

...cause he can't take the stress, anger, pain, etc.
...and I can't take knowing he's going through all of that and not being able to do anything about it.

And thank you.


Saturday, December 10, 2011


     I need
  to hug you
but you're
        of miles

I knew
   my heart
      was connected
    to yours,
  but I never
      thought about
    how much
mine would feel
      when yours does, too.

    your heart
And today,
    my heart
  aches, too.

Because I love you.

And I need to hug you.

Because I love you.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

He saved me from the wrong one... :)

I de-boarded my plane in Denver, CO at about 11:15 in the afternoon on November 23rd...

...and about ten minutes later, one of the most wonderful sentences every whispered into my ear was uttered:

"I love you."


(I've loved you from the moment I met you)

but, saying it back was... well... actually a HUGE thing for both of us.

We've both said that we love people before, but there's something about finding THE ONE that makes all of those other times seem...



It's ironic to me (now) that He does this... because He does it for a reason:

He wants you to cherish the one that He made for you, to love them unconditionally...

...and that's exactly what He's given to me with Mr. Wonderful.

I have experienced heartbreak beyond what I think any parent would want for their child, but He did it for a reason:  He brought me to all of that heartache so that my heart would be BIG ENOUGH to hold all of the love that I have now.

All of the love that I have for Mr. Wonderful.
All of the love that I have for the children that we don't even have yet.
All of the love that I would have for Mr. Wonderful's family (because we all know that you can't TRULY love someone without loving their family - and that is something that I definitely do!)

The width and height and depth that my soul can possibly reach?
THAT is the love I have for him... because of Him.
It is the love that I have for the family that we have not yet made with each other but will in our future.
It is the love that I feel when he kisses my forehead.
It is the love that I feel when he holds my hand.
It is the love that I feel when he kisses my lips.
It is the love that I feel when he snuggles me and holds me tight.
It is the love that I feel when I yammer on for what seems like for-ev-er sometimes... but he still at least pretends to be interested...

He loves me.
And there is no "he loves me not" to follow that sentence.

He loves me.
And he always will.

Because He made it that way.
Perfect pieces to an imperfect puzzle.
Made to fit uniquely together.