quote

"I felt a nice, fresh breeze a moment ago. Where has it gone to?"
- Tennessee Williams, in 'The Glass Menagerie'

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Let Down (and the end to it's reign)

Everyone has someone, at least once in their life, that lets them down.

Me?  It's happened far more than just once.

It almost seems sometimes that instead of things getting good and staying good that they tend to get good, then maybe really good, and then...

...well...

they're over.
Just like that.

But this situation?
This one's different.

This one, I fear, will never go away.

No matter how much I do to keep it out of my life.
No matter how many times I ask it to stay out of my life.
No matter how often I express my feelings of resentment...
                                                                    ...of detest...
                                                                    ...of disappointment...
                                                                    ...of pure exhaustion.

It seems it will always find me again.


You see...
about 10 months ago, I got really really hurt, and really really let down.
More than I would ever have imagined.

I was lied to,
cheated,
stolen from...



...so I did what any true-blooded American would do...
...and I moved to the great state of Florida
where I stayed for 5 months.  ;)

It was a refreshing new start, one that changed my views about multiple things in life.
One that gave me new life, and showed me that I can be me (and still just as fabulous)
without the let downs.

I can start over.
I can smile.
I can be happy.
I can finish anything that I start.
I can love (again... and again) until it hurts.
I can love... regardless of hurt.
I can make my own happiness.



and you know what?

I've been doing... just that.
(nod)


I've been being happy and living my life, without so much as a negative day since I realized all of these things...
...except for that let down that just
refuses.
to.
go.
away.

So... this is my final step.
I'm learning to let go of the "let down" and just let be.

...and step one is this:
I am going to publicly ask this "let down" to remove itself from my life once and for all.
(that was me asking)

...and from now on?


The let down will no longer be a let down because... well...
I refuse to let you disrupt my happiness.   :)

3 comments:

  1. And then there is forgiveness....

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...but once the forgiveness has already happened, there's only so much you (as in me) can do.

    I have learned to be happy - all on my own.

    Part of that is getting rid of the negative, and this is the last bit of negative left.

    I'm clearing my own conscience and ridding my life of the negative so that I can fully move forward without resentment, detest, exhaustion...


    ...sometimes, you can only TRY so much before you just get tired. TOO tired.
    (and that's where I am now)

    So, to regain my strength, I must let go, and letting go... well... that part?

    That part is actually easy.
    I'm just trying to ridding myself of any future complications and worries.
    (nod)

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You are wise for your years & have learned a lot about life in the short one you have lived!! Here's to a good future for you ~ making many happy memories to last a life time!

    ReplyDelete